Judging a Date’s Generosity by The Waiter Test

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When people first get to know each other, they are often on their best behavior. They might pay careful attention to what they wear, how much they laugh at your jokes, how closely they pay attention to everything you say, and other similar behaviors.  When thinking about the other person’s behavior, it may be a good idea to look beyond how you’re being treated and also observe how the person treats a waiter or waitress, when judging their generosity and character. 

These such observations can be a part of a concept that can be called “The Waiter Test”. This rule basically works by revealing a window into person’s true character by how they treat restaurant waiters (or waitresses) or other customer service staff.

For example, let’s say you’re on a date with Prince Charming, and he seems like a great guy. However, when it comes time to pay the bill – and he happens to take the bill, let’s say – he gives the server a low tip. Say, a 10% tip, despite the server being good and nothing negative coming to mind about the meal experience.  In this case, would this make you pause – and think about what he’s really like? Would it make you wonder if there’s a different side to him beyond what he’s shown you up front?

Or, let’s say that the tip wasn’t an issue, but the otherwise great guy complained about the food over what appeared to be a trivial issue, and was curt with the server. Would this be a red flag, even if he was totally cool and generous otherwise?

Keep in mind the above 2 questions could be asked by the guy of the girl as well. Either way, the idea is the person’s dealings with a waiter or waitress can reveal things otherwise not noticeable.

Back to the tipping issue in particular:

  • If the person tips well below what’s considered normal, or doesn’t even tip, is this person selfish, stingy, or difficult to please? Or all of these?
  • If the person tips around the norm of 15% to 20%, might this person be more mainstream in views, and easy to get along with? Or, a strict rule follower?
  • If the person tips well above what’s considered normal, going well above 25% lets say – is this person really generous? Will he or she be generous in sharing and in spirit with you? Or, will the person be a big spender with no concept of money, or is he or she a show off?

Or, is this analytical overkill?

Anyway, I think that this concept might be applied to other situations that are outside the dating arena. Examples of other relationships that could be considered are:

  • Interviewing – how does your potential boss or a job candidate treat the wait staff?
  • Business partnerships – what might a potential business partner be like?
  • New Friends – are they the cool people they seem to be, or is there another side to them?

What Do You Think?

Do you think that there is something to this notion that you can learn about someone’s generosity or character by how he/she treats the wait staff?

Have you ever noticed where somebody treated a waiter or waitress poorly, or tipped unusually low or high? Did it in any way influence your thoughts about that person?