There’s more to life than money. Sure, this blog is oriented around money, but I can assure you that I realize that much, much more to life than growing your net worth. In the grand scheme of things, it’s the people in life and health that matter most to me. Thus, I think that when people marry, doing so primarily based on money is not the best idea.
Don’t get me wrong though. I do believe that how somebody handles money and whether or not they share compatible philosophies and perhaps even goals are important factors to consider when tying the knot. But making how much money somebody has or can earn the most important factor is entirely tasteless in my opinion, and really foolish in the long run.
I bring this up after reading a post on My Broken Coin, a well written interesting blog I check out from time to time. I liked the opening paragraph, when she notes her notion that marriage should be based on love, respect, and also understanding. This is an opinion that many of could agree with, right? After that, she detailed the approach that a friend of hers took toward relationships, where the friend openly admitted that she was a gold digger. The woman apparently, per the post, only wanted to date bankers, lawyers, or doctors. Additionally, it was noted that for that woman, romance without money didn’t exist.
Somebody please try to convince me why gold digging in general is anything other than an exchange of money for something else. Really, what else can you say if the guy must have big money to get the date. It sure sounds like a pay to play attitude! What a joke.
Of course, the guys who go along with dating such people are fools. Money can buy better prospects for getting a good-looking wife, but does it truly buy the woman’s genuine love? I don’t see how, if the guy’s money is a big part of why she would be with him a long-term relationship in the first place.
To some degree, there is an aspect of this that has a shred of sense to it. The world is what it is, and at some level it makes sense that historically men have been looked to be providers and protectors. And, men also prefer very attractive women. I get all that, and don’t have any issues with that underlying theme. But in modern times and in today’s society, the gold diggers seem to be over the top, selfish, and highly short-sighted. Actually, the guys seem that way too if they go along with it. Why marry someone who doesn’t truly love you for who you are as a person? Can’t imagine having a truly happy life that way, in the long run.
By the way, I think this totally applies the exact same way if a guy wants to marry a woman for her money. Just to clarify
To avoid such people, a person with money should completely keep under wraps his or her wealth and abundance for a while. Let the other person date you based on minimal money being spent, and low-cost dates. Give it a few months, then open up and reveal more about yourself (honesty is the best policy, right?). If the person liked you for who you were when knowing nothing about wealth, then perhaps they passed that screening test. Of course, they might behave differently upon finding out, but at least you have evidence that he or she isn’t gold digging.
My Questions for You
Do you find gold digging to be entirely distasteful, or, do you think that it’s perfectly natural and understandable but people just don’t admit it?
Do you see a distinction between considering money habits as a factor in marriage, vs. making income or wealth a prerequisite for it?
Have you known any gold diggers?
The following post was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance at NerdWallet.