My answer is clear: Yes, I would have done that.
Dating someone who is unemployed is clearly not for everyone. A recent article in Moneyland shares that there are many people out there who clearly won’t date somebody who is unemployed. Both genders had a percentage of people who fit that line of thinking.
What I found interesting is that while both women and men had some people with that opinion, far more women felt that way. It’s noted, in data they sourced elsewhere, that three-quarters of women weren’t likely to date an unemployed man, while just one-third of men would not data an unemployed woman.
Clearly, the data seems to suggest that a date’s employment status matters more to women than it does to men.
This brings to mind 2 questions:
1) Why does a person being unemployed make he or she undesirable as a date?
In this day and age, plenty of smart, hard-working people are at one point or another out of work. There have been corporate layoffs aplenty, and many smart college graduates, MBAs, and lawyers – among others – who have had issues finding jobs. Some people might be unemployed for an extended period of time, and some for a short period of time. Either way, that status doesn’t necessarily reflect laziness.
Separately, even if somebody wasn’t overly intense about his or her career, does it make the person a bad date? Or, more importantly, poor marriage material? Someone may be incredibly nice, of high moral character, attractive, honest, and possessing many other important attributes. Does the ability and/or willingness to become wealthy matter so much? Or, is it more of a fear that the person is irresponsible simply because of employment status?
2) Why is a potential date being unemployed a bigger deal for women?
There is the age-old notion that we are hard-wired biologically to seek certain qualities in our partners. For example, that men desire women who are beautiful and can bear children, while women want to be protected and provided resources. While that may be true on some level, is it really this clear in day-to-day life in the 21st century?
Recently, I had a somewhat controversial post on gold diggers that might have brought out some strong opinions. Is the notion that a person should be employed an understandable requirement in dating? Is this even more understandable for a woman dating?
With respect to both questions, I tend to think that the answers might have a mix of reasons specific to the individual, as well as some general reasons attributable to gender. Personally, for example, I don’t think it would really matter to me if a person was employed at the time, as long as I knew that the person was not a freeloader or looking to have somebody else be solely responsible for providing for her in every way. As far as why it matters more to women if somebody is employed, I think it’s socialization as well as maybe some primal need to know that while she bears children, the man will be able to help provide resources to take care of them.
Or, maybe the whole caveman/cavewoman thing is a bunch of bunk. Who knows?
My Questions for You:
Would you care if a potential date was unemployed?
Why do you think it matters to people, to the extent that they wouldn’t date somebody not currently employed?
Why do you think employment situation matters more to women?