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I need your opinion
I and wife come from India and have lived in US for 10 years. We had an arranged marriage and we met first time, 10 days before we got married. We have had a good life. My wife started working when we went through some rough patches. We saved enough, to buy a good house with hefty down payment, get upgrades etc. As soon as we moved in, she got pregnant and we got our 2nd and 3rd child. I had reluctantly agreed to 2nd child the third just came along which both of us did not want. She has stopped working since then. Our kids are 2 1/2 now. She has been thinking doing “something else” at least last 6 months, while I continue to moonlight on weekends . This ensures we continue to contribute to IRAs and HSAs every year
In traditional Indian households, guys parents live with the couple till they die. Girl’s parents are considered responsibility of their son. I have however broken this tradition and always supported my widowed mother-in-law who has no income and no savings. Me and my wife have paid for her 3 US trips. She has stayed with us a net total of 2 years all expenses paid. We have also supported her otherwise during her stay with her other daughters in India. Her traditional supporter, her son refuses to support her.
My wife who does not have any income on her own, now wants me to sponsor my mother-in-law for US permanent residency. I am all for the idea of supporting her in India, but having her stay with us permanently is a different question
While I know we can sponsor mother-in-law financially in US even with my wife not working, I do not want to offer my wife life-long financial support for her mother on a silver platter. The reason is my wife has refused to be engaged in family’s finances. She refuses to do budgets, review savings or do any financial planning. While I have sleepless nights thinking about our money. Do not get me wrong, I have a good job, no debts and a good retirement saving
Besides finances, there are social issues keeping my mother-in-law in the household. My parents live in US either with me or my brother’s household. My wife does not want my parents and her mother in our house at the same time. I feel , if we were to sponsor my mother-in-law’s permanent residency in US, my wife would have to accept that her mom and my mom /dad will have to co-exist. I am all for such a solution, if it can be achieved
My wife has threatened me many times that I am a male chauvanist PIG and she would leave me. Needless to stay she threatens she will leave me . I seem to be losing the love once I had for her. More than anything else, I feel my wife is naive about finances
But I do not want to lose my children. Please give me your opinion
Editor’s Question: Readers, do you have any suggestions for this gentleman who submitted his story?