How about this one: should it matter in a marriage who gets to drive the nicer car?
There is a couple I know that got married with each person having a car, yet one was nicer than the other. Both were apparently older cars, but hers had less mileage and was a nicer brand name. When they tied the knot, she kept on driving her long-time car and he did the same with his.
Fast-forward to a year after the marriage. His car broke down, and they decided that they need to get another car. They shopped around, and settled on a very nice used car with a popular brand name and low mileage. He paid for it (remember this). By the way, I don’t think the brand name really matters (at least to me), but it can affect the car’s value and the perception of it by some people.
Once they bought the car, her car which she had brought into the marriage was now the “lesser” of the two vehicles. The new car that they had purchased, while technically used, was now the more desirable of the two.
At this point, he simply expected to drive the car they had just purchased, while she would drive the car she had been driving all along.
She, on the other hand, had the opposite idea. Her expectation was that he would now drive the car she had been driving, and that she would get the nicer car.
He thought that her car was totally fine, she had been driving it, so it was natural that she would continue to do so. Plus, he paid for the new car, so it made sense to him that he should drive it.
Her view is that as his wife, he should want to protect her and display some chivalry. In her view, it didn’t matter who drove what previously, who paid for the newer car, and whether or not they had kids (they did not). She expected that as the wife, she should be driving the nicer and presumably safer vehicle. Chivalry and money come into play here.
Needless to say, they didn’t see eye-to-eye on this particular issue.
So, what happened? Well, she ended up driving the newer car he bought, and he took on her older car that she had been driving. It’s been a while since this conversation would have come up, but he rolled his eyes when talking about it. I’m guessing she would have too if she was present, but for other reasons.
My Questions for You
Based on what you have read, who do you think should be driving the newer car that they purchased?
I’m curious what your reasons are, and what role money and gender would play in it.