This is a post about being a bridesmaid, but I have to admit up front that I have never been one. And never will. Which is a good thing, because I’m male!
With that disclaimer out of the way, I have to say that I came across an article on CNN that caught my eye regarding the cost of being a bridesmaid. It turns out that it’s more expensive than I would have thought!
Apparently, it’s enough to be a big financial expense for some women. The article found a source that indicated that the average cost of being a bridesmaid was nearly $1,700. Yes, that’s right. Almost $1,700. For some people, that’s like a mortgage payment, or even more!
Now, I have to wonder what goes through the mind of somebody who is asked to be a bridesmaid. On the one hand, it has to be an honor, if it’s a friend with whom you are particularly close as well as happy for regarding her nuptials. On the other hand, by saying yes you sign up for a very substantial expense. Of course if you say no, you risk irreparable harm to the friendship.
I recall getting ready to ask a friend to be in my wedding, way back when, when I was rejected. Actually, I told him about the dates of the wedding, and he immediately said that he wouldn’t be able to make it. This was somebody I had known for many years, and I thought his excuse of preparing for grad school finals was weak. I played it cool, and was nice to him, saying no problem. Afterward, I got more than a little annoyed as I thought about how that conversation went down. Shocking as it may seem, fair or not, I more or less ended the friendship after that. Looking back, it was probably a bit silly.
So yes, it might not be fair, but people can get overly sensitive about wedding related stuff. Realistically, this applies more to brides than grooms from my observations, despite what I shared about myself. Bottom line is that if a good friend asks you, how do you say no?
To me, with that type of expense, maybe it’s time to tone down the wedding and make it less expensive. Additionally, what about the idea that the people hosting the wedding should be paying for a substantial amount of these expenses? I mean, asking someone to play a role in a wedding that’s yours, yet making them pay and arm and a leg for the privilege of doing so, seems a bit off. But again, it seems to be the custom.
My Questions for You
What went through your mind when you were asked by someone to be a bridesmaid? Did expenses factor in?
Also, when asking someone to be a bridesmaid, did you think of how much they would be spending?
What do you think of the notion that the people hosting the wedding should help defray a large percentage of the costs of people in the wedding party?